Spring 2005 Contest
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Contest Stats and Discussion - Part 137
From: yoblazer33
| Posted: 6/1/2005 12:50:29 PM | Message Detail
With a final that will likely draw over 100,000 votes (at this point,
I'm thinking 102,000 - 105,000 looks good), I'll be hoping that Ganon
can manage at least 44%.
---
Board 8: Where people treat each other right.
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Board 8: Where people treat each other right.
From: UltimaterializerX
| Posted: 6/1/2005 12:57:58 PM | Message Detail
Strange how Frog was beating Master Chief by 2500 votes and
increasing before that link was posted, isn't it? Unless you're
counting the link as MC's legit strength, I don't see how you can put
him at the front of that inequality.
I totally forgot about that. What I meant is that Frog had to be saved by the skin of his teeth in both of his matches.
If you take that link away, Liquid Snake > Frog > Master Chief
After this contest, I'd say Master Chief > Frog > Liquid Snake
~*ST*~
---
*PWNED BY YOBLAZER in the Guru Contest*
Congrats, and hopefully you win the whole thing.
I totally forgot about that. What I meant is that Frog had to be saved by the skin of his teeth in both of his matches.
If you take that link away, Liquid Snake > Frog > Master Chief
After this contest, I'd say Master Chief > Frog > Liquid Snake
~*ST*~
---
*PWNED BY YOBLAZER in the Guru Contest*
Congrats, and hopefully you win the whole thing.
From: Sir Crono
| Posted: 6/1/2005 12:59:29 PM | Message Detail
No doubt. With Halo 2, Master Chief is easily at the front end of that inequality.
---
Yuna: Stay with me until the end. Please.
Tidus: Not until the end. Always.
---
Yuna: Stay with me until the end. Please.
Tidus: Not until the end. Always.
From: SonicRaptor
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:24:59 PM | Message Detail
Ah, Mario v. Cloud. Still possibly the greatest match in contest history. (Of course. Mario v. Crono II is up there as well)
Personally I'm pretty partial to Sonic/Samus simply because CJayC had to create 2-3 bolded topics to calm Board 8 down.
---
Today's subliminal thought is:
Contest Stats: 51/56 Next Winner: Ganondorf
Personally I'm pretty partial to Sonic/Samus simply because CJayC had to create 2-3 bolded topics to calm Board 8 down.
---
Today's subliminal thought is:
Contest Stats: 51/56 Next Winner: Ganondorf
From: AmazingKirby
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:26:28 PM | Message Detail
The vote totals are a little lower today than what we saw yesterday.
90K is probably out of the question, but we should land in the 80s.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
From: voltch
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:27:06 PM | Message Detail
isn't ganondorf's lead increasing? if it is does that mean the ruin division was weak as hell?
---
Kilroy:There fate will be in each other's hands as they decide whether to share or to shaft
---
Kilroy:There fate will be in each other's hands as they decide whether to share or to shaft
From: Adept_Of_Aiur
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:29:12 PM | Message Detail
I am betting I'm the only one who thinks this, but I think Master
Chief>Liquid Snake>Frog now. Why? Metal Gear Solid 3, though it shouldn't, might have boosted anyone named Snake. And I swear to god, I will shoot anyone who tries to throw this Spring Contest as counter-evidence... >>;;;
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
From: yoblazer33
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:30:41 PM | Message Detail
BUT LIQUID BOMBED OMG LOOK AT THE STATS RIGHT HERE
*smoke screen*
And aaaaaaaaaway I go!!
---
Board 8: Where people treat each other right.
*smoke screen*
And aaaaaaaaaway I go!!
---
Board 8: Where people treat each other right.
From: AmazingKirby
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:35:33 PM | Message Detail
Ocelot should be the only character to benefit from Snake Eater in any
significant way. It could help Solid Snake just by virtue of it being a
new MGS and the fact that Naked Snake is almost exactly like him.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
From: Heroic_Cable
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:38:42 PM | Message Detail
Seeing how badly MGS bombed recently, I don't think we'll see any boosts.
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BANG BANG BANG VIPER BEAM!
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BANG BANG BANG VIPER BEAM!
From: meche313
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:41:58 PM | Message Detail
Close to a doubling now. Ganon's performance tomorrow is going to be one for the books, I'd wish anyways.
---
Yoblazer can have my babies! And I really mean it!
PWNED heavily by the Guru Contest winner.
---
Yoblazer can have my babies! And I really mean it!
PWNED heavily by the Guru Contest winner.
From: AmazingKirby
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:49:48 PM | Message Detail
Ganondorf is right in between his number for unadjusted Kefka and 20XX Kefka at the moment.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
From: Mac Arrowny
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:50:35 PM | Message Detail
Hey RPGuy, why does using adjusted 2k4 Kefka cause everyone to increase, but Luca and Kuja decrease? That seems odd to me.
Ocelot should be the only character to benefit from Snake Eater in any significant way. It could help Solid Snake just by virtue of it being a new MGS and the fact that Naked Snake is almost exactly like him.
Almost? I'm not sure if that word is really necessary. I mean, he looks identical and he's even played by the same voice actor. I wouldn't doubt that most people would treat Naked and Solid Snake the same.
Ocelot should be the only character to benefit from Snake Eater in any significant way. It could help Solid Snake just by virtue of it being a new MGS and the fact that Naked Snake is almost exactly like him.
Almost? I'm not sure if that word is really necessary. I mean, he looks identical and he's even played by the same voice actor. I wouldn't doubt that most people would treat Naked and Solid Snake the same.
From: dethfdddddh
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:51:12 PM | Message Detail
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
From: AmazingKirby
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:54:44 PM | Message Detail
Well, their personalities are somewhat different, though they're virtually interchangeable otherwise.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
From: Adept_Of_Aiur
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:56:18 PM | Message Detail
And the theory is that Liquid Snake gets his power from the word Snake.
Well, if that's true, more Snake popularity would help him now,
wouldn't it?
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
From: dethfdddddh
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:58:01 PM | Message Detail
.....You can't really read the 'Snake' part without seeing LIQUID.
---
Volgin is one sexy beast....
---
Volgin is one sexy beast....
From: Adept_Of_Aiur
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:58:57 PM | Message Detail
Did... I say you could???
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
From: dethfdddddh
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:59:38 PM | Message Detail
NO.
I'm just saying.
For no reason at all.
>_>;
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Volgin is one sexy beast....
I'm just saying.
For no reason at all.
>_>;
---
Volgin is one sexy beast....
From: AmazingKirby
| Posted: 6/1/2005 1:59:53 PM | Message Detail
Well, if that's true, more Snake popularity would help him now, wouldn't it?
Theoretically, but not necessarily.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
Theoretically, but not necessarily.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
From: Adept_Of_Aiur
| Posted: 6/1/2005 2:00:25 PM | Message Detail
Theoretically, but not necessarily.
Yep, all this is, is theory.
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
Yep, all this is, is theory.
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
From: AmazingKirby
| Posted: 6/1/2005 2:02:07 PM | Message Detail
I wouldn't really expect Solid and Liquid to be joined at the hip,
personally. Sure, they're both Snakes, but they are very different
other than that.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
---
Hi,I'm partystar. ^_^
Or maybe I'm Leonhart. That's for you to decide.
From: RPGuy96
| Posted: 6/1/2005 2:02:31 PM | Message Detail
Hey RPGuy, why does using adjusted 2k4 Kefka cause everyone to increase, but Luca and Kuja decrease? That seems odd to me.
I think I screwed up somewhere on my spreadsheet; now I get to figure out where. Thanks for the heads up.
---
If you go to him, he will destroy you. And your last moments will be of shadow and pain.
I think I screwed up somewhere on my spreadsheet; now I get to figure out where. Thanks for the heads up.
---
If you go to him, he will destroy you. And your last moments will be of shadow and pain.
From: RPGuy96
| Posted: 6/1/2005 2:08:43 PM | Message Detail
Found and fixed. I had Luca referencing Mithos instead of Wesker to
find his percent on Ganondorf, and I used the wrong formula to find
Kuja on CATS. I'm going to hold off posting more stats until tomorrow's
prelim, though.
---
If you go to him, he will destroy you. And your last moments will be of shadow and pain.
---
If you go to him, he will destroy you. And your last moments will be of shadow and pain.
From: armitage999
| Posted: 6/1/2005 2:12:08 PM | Message Detail
I'm stunned. Stunned I say.
---
Spring Contest Winner: Sephiroth over Ganondorf(or possibly Diablo)
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Spring Contest Winner: Sephiroth over Ganondorf(or possibly Diablo)
From: HaRRicH
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:21:41 PM | Message Detail
Go Ganon - go Ganon - GO!!!
So what does today's match say about Luca and CATS in the stats compared to 2k4? I know at least one of them had to be wrong, and most likely both...but I don't really have the atmosphere to dwell on it right now, heh.
I hate friends' computers, as a side-note; they NEVER have Firefox. =/
---
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Yoblazer has owned each and every guru.
So what does today's match say about Luca and CATS in the stats compared to 2k4? I know at least one of them had to be wrong, and most likely both...but I don't really have the atmosphere to dwell on it right now, heh.
I hate friends' computers, as a side-note; they NEVER have Firefox. =/
---
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Yoblazer has owned each and every guru.
From: Kagato Toujou
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:35:07 PM | Message Detail
Theoretically, but not necessarily.
Yep, all this is, is theory.
Granted that theory is true, how well do you believe Solidus would do in the Summer Contest? I'd think he'd have to be somewhat low-tier: good enough to clear out fodder but lower than Liquid & Solid Snake themselves. Ocelot as well.
Yep, all this is, is theory.
Granted that theory is true, how well do you believe Solidus would do in the Summer Contest? I'd think he'd have to be somewhat low-tier: good enough to clear out fodder but lower than Liquid & Solid Snake themselves. Ocelot as well.
From: The Amazing Gecko
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:36:09 PM | Message Detail
Solidus would probably be even lower than Raiden. I'd rather have
Raiden in first to see how he does(sans against Snake) than Solidus.
From: HaRRicH
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:49:27 PM | Message Detail
I doubt Solidus would be much lower than Liquid, if any lower. Now, where Liquid is at, that's a whole 'nother question.....
---
Roses are red, violets are blue, Yoblazer has owned each and every guru.
Enjoy your prizes, bro.
---
Roses are red, violets are blue, Yoblazer has owned each and every guru.
Enjoy your prizes, bro.
From: Adept_Of_Aiur
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:50:46 PM | Message Detail
Granted that theory is true, how well do you believe Solidus would do in the Summer Contest? I'd think he'd have to be somewhat low-tier: good enough to clear out fodder but lower than Liquid & Solid Snake themselves. Ocelot as well.
I'm not sure exactly, but I think he'd surpass most people's expectations. Given the right picture, I could ALMOST see him being equal to Liquid. His name is almost the same as Solid Snake after all...
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
From: mankvill
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:52:51 PM | Message Detail
Hi, I'm in 8th place, I think.
---
XBL Gamertag: mankvill
Sprankton; a noun. A disease you get from chewing to much.
---
XBL Gamertag: mankvill
Sprankton; a noun. A disease you get from chewing to much.
From: Adept_Of_Aiur
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:53:36 PM | Message Detail
Hi, I'm in 8th place, I think.
Good job. Are you going to stay on the board after the contest ends?
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
Good job. Are you going to stay on the board after the contest ends?
Heil Dweebenheimer!!! For I am MasterMage119!!!
From: Phediuk
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:54:05 PM | Message Detail
Well, if this poll doesn't reach the vote total of yesterday's match,
then Ganondorf never stood a snowball's chance in hell of winning the
contest in the first place.
Vote totals are much more indicative of character strength than percentage. It's just that we can't put them into X-stats.
---
"Thank you, Mario. But our princess is in another castle."
-Toad in Super Mario Bros.
Vote totals are much more indicative of character strength than percentage. It's just that we can't put them into X-stats.
---
"Thank you, Mario. But our princess is in another castle."
-Toad in Super Mario Bros.
From: RPGuy96
| Posted: 6/1/2005 3:59:56 PM | Message Detail
Vote totals are much more indicative of character strength than percentage. It's just that we can't put them into X-stats.
Le sigh. Didn't we go over this a few topics ago?
---
Congratulations to yoblazer for winning the Sp2k5 Guru Contest!
Le sigh. Didn't we go over this a few topics ago?
---
Congratulations to yoblazer for winning the Sp2k5 Guru Contest!
From: The Amazing Gecko
| Posted: 6/1/2005 4:00:48 PM | Message Detail
FF7 characters tend to get inflated vote totals. I mean, yeah, they're
STRONG. But they usually outdo Link 9 times out of 10. Even in the
years when Link would school them.
From: armitage999
| Posted: 6/1/2005 4:46:13 PM | Message Detail
I think Ganondorf actually has an outside chance of pulling off the upset tomorrow.
Ganondorf doing what he did against Wiley, and doing what he's doing against Diablo is VERY impressive..
---
Spring Contest Winner: Sephiroth over Ganondorf(or possibly Diablo)
Ganondorf doing what he did against Wiley, and doing what he's doing against Diablo is VERY impressive..
---
Spring Contest Winner: Sephiroth over Ganondorf(or possibly Diablo)
From: Heroic Mario
| Posted: 6/1/2005 4:56:05 PM | Message Detail
and we all know I hate 3D Zeldas.
I'm not going to question your opinion or anything and I can completely respect that, but what did you like about OoT? =\
Oh, and my favorite picture of Ganon is actually from TWW, going through the entire series.
---
“I am the Queen of Blades, and my stare alone would reduce you to ashes. You and your ilk cease to amuse me. Prepare yourself for oblivion’s embrace.” Kerrigan
I'm not going to question your opinion or anything and I can completely respect that, but what did you like about OoT? =\
Oh, and my favorite picture of Ganon is actually from TWW, going through the entire series.
---
“I am the Queen of Blades, and my stare alone would reduce you to ashes. You and your ilk cease to amuse me. Prepare yourself for oblivion’s embrace.” Kerrigan
From: Heroic Mario
| Posted: 6/1/2005 4:58:17 PM | Message Detail
Vote totals are much more indicative of character strength than percentage. It's just that we can't put them into X-stats.
Oh God... We went over that before. And you could not be farther from the truth.
---
“I am the Queen of Blades, and my stare alone would reduce you to ashes. You and your ilk cease to amuse me. Prepare yourself for oblivion’s embrace.” Kerrigan
Oh God... We went over that before. And you could not be farther from the truth.
---
“I am the Queen of Blades, and my stare alone would reduce you to ashes. You and your ilk cease to amuse me. Prepare yourself for oblivion’s embrace.” Kerrigan
From: UltimaterializerX
| Posted: 6/1/2005 4:59:48 PM | Message Detail
Phediuk happens to be correct.
~*ST*~
---
*PWNED BY YOBLAZER in the Guru Contest*
Congrats, and hopefully you win the whole thing.
~*ST*~
---
*PWNED BY YOBLAZER in the Guru Contest*
Congrats, and hopefully you win the whole thing.
From: swirldude
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:01:28 PM | Message Detail
Since Ulti says its correct, it must be true! <_<
---
I don't want to say this, but yoblazer's making me for him pwning me in the Guru Contest!
http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=8&topic=21292832
---
I don't want to say this, but yoblazer's making me for him pwning me in the Guru Contest!
http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=8&topic=21292832
From: Heroic Mario
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:05:50 PM | Message Detail
Phediuk happens to be correct.
You can sit there and be incorrect with him.
---
Yoblazer: I'm about three things: kicking ass; taking names; and winning GameFAQs contests.
You can sit there and be incorrect with him.
---
Yoblazer: I'm about three things: kicking ass; taking names; and winning GameFAQs contests.
From: NewLib
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:15:08 PM | Message Detail
If a match is close or highly debated the vote total will be
arbitrarily raised due to the hype/madness. Examples: Squall/Luigi,
Tidus/Shadow
Thus vote totals fail to be a very effective way of determining strength.
---
Yoblazer made me look like Tanner in the Guru Contest.
Thus vote totals fail to be a very effective way of determining strength.
---
Yoblazer made me look like Tanner in the Guru Contest.
From: LordOfDabu
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:18:48 PM | Message Detail
In theory, matches with high vote totals should provide more accurate
data due to a smaller margin of error; however, in the case of this
contest, the data is not collected randomly to begin with (which is
also one reason why the extrapolated rankings do not actually hold
true).
---
"Proceed, Hero, into Terror's Lair." - Hadriel
---
"Proceed, Hero, into Terror's Lair." - Hadriel
From: RPGuy96
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:23:37 PM | Message Detail
Ocelot/Wily got the third fewest votes in the entire contest. Guess
those guys suck, then. Hell, Wily/Ultros drew in 7k more votes, and
Ocelot/Nemesis drew in 12k more votes. I don't know what you make of
that if you think vote totals indicate strength.
---
Congratulations to yoblazer for winning the Sp2k5 Guru Contest!
---
Congratulations to yoblazer for winning the Sp2k5 Guru Contest!
From: DomaDragoon
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:25:31 PM | Message Detail
Vote totals are an indication of strength, not the indication of strength.
---
Yo Yogi? No, yoblazer! Congratulations to yoblazer for being the top Guru!
www.rpgdl.com
---
Yo Yogi? No, yoblazer! Congratulations to yoblazer for being the top Guru!
www.rpgdl.com
From: yoblazer33
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:28:13 PM | Message Detail
I don't know what you make of that if you think vote totals indicate strength.
Vote totals are an excellent indication of strength... sometimes. Two powerhouses will bring in astronomical vote totals (Cloud/Link 2K3 and 2K4). Two pushovers will do just the opposite (Wesker/Luca). Generally, though, you have to look at the day, whether one of the contestants is a "draw" or not, and just realize that these things fluctuate often.
---
Board 8: Where people treat each other right.
Vote totals are an excellent indication of strength... sometimes. Two powerhouses will bring in astronomical vote totals (Cloud/Link 2K3 and 2K4). Two pushovers will do just the opposite (Wesker/Luca). Generally, though, you have to look at the day, whether one of the contestants is a "draw" or not, and just realize that these things fluctuate often.
---
Board 8: Where people treat each other right.
From: The Amazing Gecko
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:28:16 PM | Message Detail
Doesn't change the fact that Ulti and Phediuk are wrong.
It counts, but it's not MORE important than %. Link tends to get less votes in his matches than Sephiroth. Just because Ganondorf may not reach the same vote total as Seph's match did doesn't mean he has absolutely no chance(he has absolutely no chance for other reasons)
If this was Link here in Ganondorf's place, his match would also probaby get less votes. OMG LINK HAS NO CHANCE AGAINST SEPHIROTH!
It counts, but it's not MORE important than %. Link tends to get less votes in his matches than Sephiroth. Just because Ganondorf may not reach the same vote total as Seph's match did doesn't mean he has absolutely no chance(he has absolutely no chance for other reasons)
If this was Link here in Ganondorf's place, his match would also probaby get less votes. OMG LINK HAS NO CHANCE AGAINST SEPHIROTH!
From: UltimaterializerX
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:28:57 PM | Message Detail
Magus > all
~*ST*~
---
*PWNED BY YOBLAZER in the Guru Contest*
Congrats, and hopefully you win the whole thing.
~*ST*~
---
*PWNED BY YOBLAZER in the Guru Contest*
Congrats, and hopefully you win the whole thing.
From: Tediz247
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:29:08 PM | Message Detail
http://img35.exs.cx/img35/3299/presea023oc.jpg > Magus
---
The yoblazer: He is so much better at the Guru Contest than you.
ZSB [aX]
---
The yoblazer: He is so much better at the Guru Contest than you.
ZSB [aX]
From: Aprosenf
| Posted: 6/1/2005 5:29:12 PM | Message Detail
Once upon a web-surf weary, while I pondered red-eyed, bleary,
Over many a quaint and curious website of X-rated lore,
Smiled and nodded, dodging cookies, looking for the films of nookie,
And as always, dodging spyware, aware in my search for more
And more explicit pictures, of the housewives that were bored,
Nothing kinky, only porn.
As I wandered I remembered, a URL found last December,
That caused a twitching in my member, that I rubbed till it was sore
Eagerly I typed the address, half-remembered, half a mad guess
In my mind it stirred a madness - madness for a dark-eyed whore,
For a sad-eyed shameless maiden who displayed her charms - and more!
Nameless on some site of porn..
Feeling guilty, sad, uncertain, my urges had my conscience hurting
But thrilling - filling me with fantastic feelings never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I sat repeating
"I'm just a visitor entreating entrance to a site of porn
I am a visitor entreating images that give me horn
This is all and nothing more."
Presently my urge grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I hit return and waited, watching while DNS lookup explored;
But while I sat anticipating, beneath the desk my member aching,
The site I recalled navigating, the navigator found no more,
And I scarce believed what I was seeing, for in the place of free hardcore
Quoth the Server "404"
Deep into the popups peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Had I not typed correct the URL once more?
For free hardcore (for I was frugal), in my lusting turned to Google,
Typed keywords that I might ogle pages of hot chicks galore,
And I whispered to the phosphor "give me back my free hardcore -
Only that and nothing more.
But web controls then saw the searches, clamped down on illicit urges,
"Access Denied" was all I found and nothing more,
On porn-sites it saw me shirking when I really should be working
Like a spectre always lurking, blocking free sex sites and more
The horny housewives sang their siren-call no more
Quoth the Server "404"
Determined then to circumvent it, another address I then entered
Taking me, I hoped, to our server's less secure back door
But someone had secured the proxies, denying access to web doxies,
No more ladies hot and foxy, but still I could not be sure,
And so, with shaking hands I typed the arcane codes once more -
Quoth the Server "404"
- Dragonqueen
---
Despite being in an 11-way tie for 4th in the Guru challenge, I got totally owned by Yoblazer.
Over many a quaint and curious website of X-rated lore,
Smiled and nodded, dodging cookies, looking for the films of nookie,
And as always, dodging spyware, aware in my search for more
And more explicit pictures, of the housewives that were bored,
Nothing kinky, only porn.
As I wandered I remembered, a URL found last December,
That caused a twitching in my member, that I rubbed till it was sore
Eagerly I typed the address, half-remembered, half a mad guess
In my mind it stirred a madness - madness for a dark-eyed whore,
For a sad-eyed shameless maiden who displayed her charms - and more!
Nameless on some site of porn..
Feeling guilty, sad, uncertain, my urges had my conscience hurting
But thrilling - filling me with fantastic feelings never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I sat repeating
"I'm just a visitor entreating entrance to a site of porn
I am a visitor entreating images that give me horn
This is all and nothing more."
Presently my urge grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I hit return and waited, watching while DNS lookup explored;
But while I sat anticipating, beneath the desk my member aching,
The site I recalled navigating, the navigator found no more,
And I scarce believed what I was seeing, for in the place of free hardcore
Quoth the Server "404"
Deep into the popups peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Had I not typed correct the URL once more?
For free hardcore (for I was frugal), in my lusting turned to Google,
Typed keywords that I might ogle pages of hot chicks galore,
And I whispered to the phosphor "give me back my free hardcore -
Only that and nothing more.
But web controls then saw the searches, clamped down on illicit urges,
"Access Denied" was all I found and nothing more,
On porn-sites it saw me shirking when I really should be working
Like a spectre always lurking, blocking free sex sites and more
The horny housewives sang their siren-call no more
Quoth the Server "404"
Determined then to circumvent it, another address I then entered
Taking me, I hoped, to our server's less secure back door
But someone had secured the proxies, denying access to web doxies,
No more ladies hot and foxy, but still I could not be sure,
And so, with shaking hands I typed the arcane codes once more -
Quoth the Server "404"
- Dragonqueen
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Despite being in an 11-way tie for 4th in the Guru challenge, I got totally owned by Yoblazer.