Season 4, Episode 10 "Weeklong Romance" Todd Hinnley - Bob Odendirk Girlfriend - Jill Talley Brother - John Ennis Bandmember #1 - David Cross Bandmember #2 - Scott Adsit Large Man - Jay Johnson Jill: *holding package of candies* Oh, this is so sweet, I'll never eat it. I missed you so much. Todd: You missed me? *laughs* I missed you! This has been the longest week of my life... let's never break up again. *they kiss* Jill: So, what'd you do all week? Todd: You mean, besides cry? heh... I, I barely left the house, I mean, what about you? Jill: Well, I was depressed. I tried to get my life together, I signed up for a Tex-Mex cooking class- *Todd lights cigerete* Todd: Oh, do you mind? Jill: No.... since when do you smoke? Todd: Since this past week. Us. You know, I've tried to quit, a couple times... I'm going to quit... Jill: Oh, of course. Todd: But, now, tell me, "Tex-Mex," now that's Texas [i]and[/i] Mexico? *man at bar notices Todd* Jill: Yeah, it's like a combin- Oh! *man punches Todd in the face* Man: That's for embarrasing Jennifer! She's been sitting at home crying since you stood her up at the altar, you piece of shit! Jill: Oh my God! What was that, who's [i]Jennifer[/i]? Todd: Oh, it's nothing, he's just mad because I didn't marry his sister, Jennifer. Jill: *hurt* You got engaged last week? Todd: It was a mistake. Look.. no, no, no, I was at home, thinking about us, [i]crying[/i], and I cried so much, honey, that I got a headache. Jill: Aw... Todd: And I went out to get some asprin and I met this girl named Jennifer and we got engaged and it was a mistake and it's over and... Just tell me about this Tex-Mex class, when does it start? *girl from booth over walks up, holding CD* Jill: Well, not for a while... Jill: *hyperventilaing* Ah, excuse me, I couldn't help but notice, I was just sitting over- You rock! Could you sign my... it's not for me. Todd: *signs* Ok, thank you. I was, ah... in a Christian rock band. It's ah... New Wave, mixed with a little rap. This was Tuesday... And it's, you know- So just, Tex-Mex, tell me, does it- *two men walk by the table* #1: You Judas! *punches Todd in the face* #2: For they that tear my people asunder shall not dignify the [i]houses of the Lord[/i]! #1: You are officially rebuked! Todd: Honey, ah, this is "2001: A New Wave Godessey". #2: Oh, is this the Jezebel you [i]broke up the band for[/i]?! #1: Harlot! Whore! Jill: Guys! I'm not Jennifer, ok! #2: We only know you by your porn name, Krystal Knockers. *they walk away* #1: Come, brother. For Christ shall rise up and smite them and... Jill: *angry* Jennifer was a [i]porn star[/i]?! Todd: No, no, honey, Jennifer and Krystal Knockers are two different people. I never went out with Krystal Knockers- she's a porn star. Jill: *relieved* Oh... Todd: We were both in this blowjob competion, it- *large man at bar spots Todd* Todd: It's... listen, Tex-Mex- Man: [b]You[/b]! *punches Todd in the face* Man: That is for embarrasing my girlfriend. She's been in the shower for two days, she says she'll never be [i]clean[/i] again. *storms out* Todd: *holding jaw* Oh, that? That's just Krystal's boyfriend, he's just mad because I beat her in the competition. Jill: *horrified* You [i]gave[/i] people blowjobs? Todd: The [i]most[/i] people! That's why they... they have a drink named after me here. Jill: *disbelieving* They have a drink called the "Todd Hinnely"? Todd: No, it's called "The Ultimate Dicksucker". Jill: *disgusted* Oh God... Todd: But, honey, Tex-Mex, now is that more Mex- Jill: You know, this is really hard for me, you said you were home crying all week. Todd: I [b]was[/b]! Ok? But then I was born again, and I joined that band. And then I meet Jennifer, and then I quit the band, and then Jennifer and I got engaged, and then I called that off. And then I... lucked into that porn film. Jill: Oh, God... Todd: Well, what! I'm sure you did a few things you're not so proud of, Miss [i]Tex-Mex[/i]. Jill: In the past week?! No! I barely signed up for the class, [i]I[/i] just sat around. Todd: Oh, really? You just sat around inside alone for an entire week, really? Huh? Jill: Well, some of my friends took me to a male strip club, they thought it would cheer me up. Todd: Ha ha [b]ha[/b]! Yeah! That and [b]Tex-Mex[/b]! Jill: Would you [b]shut up[/b] about the class! It hasn't even started yet! Todd: Yeah, well, it's ok, because I [i]forgive[/i] you. Jill: For [b]what[/b]!? Oh, forget it, I'm leaving. *gets up to go* Todd: No, honey, no, please don't go! *puts hand on shoulder to restrain her* Todd: I don't want to go back to that life, all those people kissing my ass, all the fucking and sucking, and- *pulls hand back* Honey, are you bleeding? *sniffs hand* Spicy messquite sauce... Tex-Mex, Tex... *getting angry* I thought you said that class hadn't even started yet. Jill: It was a one day intensive seminar. Todd: You liar. *punches her our* *A New Wave Goddessy come walking back through* Todd: Guys! I'm back in the band! ANG: Alright! Todd: Jesus upon thee and- *scene fade*